june 15

It is so painful to me that sometimes someone is so hung up on using unfunny cliches and turns of phrase that it trumps even common sense, but here it is for your enjoyment:

"That's the story of my life today" -Jabba

The Joke of the Century

The guy who complains was just playing nature sounds over the computer, I guess in order to fool people into thinking they were hearing things. Kind of cute. Anyway, a looped frog croak begins... We fade in on Jabba, who is aglow with inspiration... She opens her mouth and...

Jabba: Hey Kermit, pipe down there.

Thus spake Jabbathustra.

The pains of the Working Lady

Jabba came in today in severe pain. It could possibly be her stubbed toe from her accident, or perhaps the science behind the all chips/cigarette diet have not yet been fine-tuned. But anyway, the waddle is extra labored, and there's a lot more age complaints today. I'm pretty sure though that 46 years old is not advanced yet.

Hooray... I have gotten to spend most of the day listening to ostentatious sighs and moans, along with labored breathing. Jabba, just go eat some chips, please, that will solve ever-... oh, you are, ok.

And just like that... she's gone... looks like it's going to be mercifully boring day.

Jabba's gourmet 6/1/09

Count today: One bag Cheez Doodles, One bag Lays Ruffled Potato Chips, One cigarette.

1: complaint about the D train as she waddled in late.

It's now 6:30 and she has been missing for two hours. It says something about her skills/utility around the office that no one has noticed this. Am getting worried she may come back. With every passing minute, the likelihood of a story/excuse for why she was gone increases.

Now she's back... no explanation for absence thank God. She has two modes of operating when making a joke. She will either repeat the joke until someone makes a murmur that they in fact heard it the first time, or she will stop suddenly and say someone's name... pause... then deadpan. Both usually result in a complete vacuum of humorousness.